HELP!!! What do you think?

I am writing a letter to a publisher about a book I am writing. Here is the letter, what do you think about it?

____________________________________________________________

To whom it may concern:

My name is Brittany Higgins. I am 14 years old, soon to be 15. I live in Nottingham, Pa. It has always been my dream to write a book. The book I am currently writing you about is called, If I Had a Roller Coaster in my Backyard. It is a children's book. It is about a little girl named Emma who is telling her mom what she would do if she had a roller coaster in her backyard. I am thinking it is going to be about 15-30 pages long. With the words at the bottom of the page and the pictures at the top of the page. I am gearing towards an audience between the ages of 3-10. I see my book being sold all over the the country. But that is just my dreams. The best time to call me would be Monday through Friday in between 8am - 1:30pm. You can reach me at (610)***-****. My address is

4**1 Forge Rd.
Nottingham, Pa
19362

Sincerly,
Brittany Higgins

____________________________________________________________

What do you think I should change?

Thank you for your help!

Well, I personally thinkg it's pretty good...But I would maybe ask your English teacher as well. She may give you good pointers and/or help you in other ways as well. But I think it's good!!

maybe you should put in some of the beggining of the book (that is if you have part of it done)

Ok.
Thank you both!
I am using both of your guys advice!

You should really look into that first. In order to publish a Children's book, it has to be at least eighteen pages long (trust me I know I've looked into it) Other than that I suppose it's pretty good. Good luck!

Wow!
Thank you so much!

its really good and letting your english teacher review it is a great idea ! .... hope you make it !

You could delete the part about going on 15 years old. Also, if you're typing the letter, italicize the title of your book. A longer summary of the story would make them pay more attention. Put your address in the top right corner of the letter, but don't put your name there. You might also want to end it with "Thank you for your time." And personally sign it.

Other than that, I think it's very good for a business letter!

Its great good luck

I wouldn't mention the part about selling all over the country, either. I'm pretty sure the publisher can tell you where you will be publishing if you can get that far. I agree with bluewaterlily on this one. Good luck with that.

Thank you Alanna for the grammer mistakes! =]
And thank you everyone else! =]